"Thanks and sorry."

And I thought I used those words the best.

Ces't la vie.

To the one without enemies.

Its tough knowing and accepting things as they are. When hope and despair are equal and opposing. one wavers from side to side. But since its you we are talking about, we need the lens of rationality. Of clinical practicality. Of astute search for safe-bets. Because, that's how you are. Its what I like about you and am mortified about. It prevents me from peering into your heart. It prevents me from ever being sure. but worse, it doesn't prevent me from feeling the way i do. about you.
The countless simulations that i run, merrily forcing them to end in happy ever-afters, do however seem to suggest that its an exercise in futility. I am not pointing fingers. I am not blaming. I am just ruing the fact of the situation. You will never choose me. you perhaps even like me. But that can be swept away with a gentle dip in rationality. Its perhaps easy for you. And I would be happy that this wont trouble you much. but it will me.
I will have to endure it like everything else. I will have to accept that it was never meant to be. but how do you kill a desire? perhaps you dont. perhaps you just live with its unrequited existence waiting for sharp jibes to jade over time.
but its a tough thing to change the principle of life - from hope to reconciliation. It will have to be done though.
Even so, there's no harm in raising a toast to the aborted possibilities. to the things we could have made.

Stream of consciousness

Do you know what it feels like to kill a man? Do you? Do you know what it means to die?

A little everyday- because you don’t. so just shut the fuck up and listen. it’s the only way youd ever feel young you old fuck. But, the future holds promise. Can you not just help that happen and not be a selfish dick for once? For what you see is precious and always will be. A fucking cure to your ageing heart.

Do you know what It means to let go, motherfucker? It means exactly that. Eat shit and let go. Suck a cock if you have to. Suck it.

Mia Wallace and Vincent Vega will always be the best romance.

J-12

At the end of the day we are all just individuals. Locked within ourselves, forever alone. There is some fleeting comfort in waiting with another. Finding a company, or two, to quell the anxiety. But, like passengers with different stops to get off at, we are abandoned by this comfort. Like the coins in your pocket, they are seldom the same. That is perhaps why we build longer relationships. Families, spouses, children. But you know, when you are alone in a room, that is what it really is. Trying to distract yourself with the ensemble of pop culture and other distractions is futile in the absolute sense. However, there's maybe a temporary meaning to it. And maybe temporary is all we got.

I guess hope fits in here somewhere.

Don't shut it down man. Let it endure. The fact of man. The fact or humor. Let it be judged by weaklings. Let it be a beacon to all who seek. Let's stick it to the woman, for once.