its been a couple of weeks and gautam has developed this stomach condition. tonnes of ache and no relief. first they diagnose stone then pancreatitis. what that means to us is spending nights with him in his chemically stinking room monitoring his drip and stuff. for him it means a ticket back home, and for us, one person less to share the rent. and the doctor, mislead by gautam's apparent abundance of facial hair and hair in genral, finds it hard to believe that he does not drink. hence the question again and again, do you take alcohol? are you sure? (i wanted to write about the poor health care systems but i dont feel socially obligated right now). so yeah hes going home. i want to go home too, im not perticularly happy these days. the question is which home?
if testosterone implies manliness
and testosterone causes to go bald
then gandhiji was one MARAD.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
how you might hate gujratis/gujrat
i wanted to name my next blog entry 'don't smoke'. technically this blog is the next blog i am talking about in this blog. so using 'next blog' doesnt sound appropriate. but then had i begun as " i wanted to name this blog as 'don't smoke' " then it would have meant that i wanted this perticular entry to be named thus, but then my motive of the 'next blog' would have been lost. so in the end it is what it is. confusing huh?
now lets come to the reason why it isn't named 'dont smoke'. thats because it has absolutely nothing to do with smoking, well almost absolutely nothing to do with smoking. Gujratis smoke. they smoke alot. and this is probably the only mention of smoking in this blog (entry). this and maybe also that since i have started to detest gujratis more and more it doesnt feel as good smoking as it did a week earlier. this should do away with all i had to say about smoking.
gujratis are very easily hate-able. so much so that it wudnt be a bad idea to have a guju guy as a punching bag to vent your frustration on. or maybe gujrati mobile commode for the desperately ill at hospitals, and the constipated. or maybe even gujrati prickly heat powder. the kind that actually gives you prickly-heat itches.
reasons to hate gujratis:
1. because they are gujratis.
2. they give you that 'uhh.. you are so different' look.
3. they dont know hindi. fudge! even south indians and bengalis know more hindi. oh but the landlord is quick to point out when we use swear words.
4. no alcohol. shit no alcohol for 2 months.
5. they probably ate ape shit for goose berries, while they were still evolving and don't know it yet(explains a lot).
6. gujratis are gay (you got it, the women too).
7. they havent heard of IIT. heres a conversation
lady: kahan se aaye ho?
vaibhav: IIT kanpur
lady: kya?
vaibhav: IIT
lady: oh! information technology?
vaibhav: haan. magar chemical engineering mein.
8. they have shit loads of money from cleaning the overcrowded and over-crapped-in-used-for-casual-and-raw-sex-once-too-many toilets abroad.
9. they are too darn short. i bet its proportionate too.
these reasons might not sound reasonable. but then thats only because you ate ape shit too.
now lets come to the reason why it isn't named 'dont smoke'. thats because it has absolutely nothing to do with smoking, well almost absolutely nothing to do with smoking. Gujratis smoke. they smoke alot. and this is probably the only mention of smoking in this blog (entry). this and maybe also that since i have started to detest gujratis more and more it doesnt feel as good smoking as it did a week earlier. this should do away with all i had to say about smoking.
gujratis are very easily hate-able. so much so that it wudnt be a bad idea to have a guju guy as a punching bag to vent your frustration on. or maybe gujrati mobile commode for the desperately ill at hospitals, and the constipated. or maybe even gujrati prickly heat powder. the kind that actually gives you prickly-heat itches.
reasons to hate gujratis:
1. because they are gujratis.
2. they give you that 'uhh.. you are so different' look.
3. they dont know hindi. fudge! even south indians and bengalis know more hindi. oh but the landlord is quick to point out when we use swear words.
4. no alcohol. shit no alcohol for 2 months.
5. they probably ate ape shit for goose berries, while they were still evolving and don't know it yet(explains a lot).
6. gujratis are gay (you got it, the women too).
7. they havent heard of IIT. heres a conversation
lady: kahan se aaye ho?
vaibhav: IIT kanpur
lady: kya?
vaibhav: IIT
lady: oh! information technology?
vaibhav: haan. magar chemical engineering mein.
8. they have shit loads of money from cleaning the overcrowded and over-crapped-in-used-for-casual-and-raw-sex-once-too-many toilets abroad.
9. they are too darn short. i bet its proportionate too.
these reasons might not sound reasonable. but then thats only because you ate ape shit too.
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